An Apology

This is a writing to those who read this whom I consider friends.

I've recently had a fight with a close friend that has made me sit down and do a lot of thinking.

A lot of things have happened in my life in the last few years, especially in the past 12 months or so, that have been difficult to deal with. Getting into the specifics would prove to be either boring or annoying to the reader, so I'll just skip ahead by saying that the more crap that has been piled on me, the more bitter and cynical I've become.

I look back to who I was in high school, who I was in college, even who I was the first year or two after college, and I compare that to who I am now. And I don't like who I've become.

I just want everyone to know that I'm trying really hard to deal with everything that's coming my way, and making the best out of any situation. But its becoming harder and harder for me to deal with. So if I seem to anyone to be sullen, moody, or quiet, just know what I'm trying to be better.

And I understand that this probably seems very vague and confusing, but its difficult to really get into without naming names, naming situations, that kind of thing. To be honest, its not really any specific name or situation, but just the way I've treated others, and the way others have treated me, as more of an obligation than as a friend, over the course of the last few years. It's built up, and has started erupting lately.

But I am trying.